rastplats

My contribution to the Evoke 04 demoparty placed third in the ANSI competition. Not bad for the first ANSI I’ve done in about six years.. and it was only a logo aswell. Finally some encouraging news. I did some updating on the code section aswell today.

Went to the movies last night and watched Fahrenheit 9/11 last night. It became quite clear early on that I wasn’t part of the intended audience for this particular movie since I already disagree with the american government on almost every count and have opposed both the war on Afghanistan and Iraq since September 11. It is a very Moore’ish movie without any sensational news (if you’re shocked by the information, consider this a wakeup call to reality), but it proved entertaining and very frightening. All in all it’s a must-see movie, the truth about human suffering must never be forgotten. Another similiar documentary on stupid americans I’ve seen lately is Super Size Me which I also recommend.

Actually managed to sleep last night although probably out of exhaustion due to not getting any sleep the past week.. I guess I’m up for a sleepless night tonight =(

Another night where sleep eluded me.. kicking this insomniac thing is definately number one on my list, if I only knew how =( Gave up around 4AM and continued reading Microserfs by Douglas Coupland. The main character in this book is so much like me it’s scary, his name is even Daniel. The book is about computernerds desperately longing for a life with meaning, social relations and love. This is probably the best book I’ve read this year.. hopefully I end up as my namesake in the book..

Yesterday evening and night was spent at Francescos place for a typical swedish crayfishparty, and what a party it was. The barn had been casemodded into a partyplace that would handle even the most riotlike party (and it did).. I had a great time among friends and good food, although I chickened out on the crayfish and brought a lobster instead.

I finished my first ansi piece today since 1998 or so, check it out in the gallery. It feels good to be back in the low-tek graphicsthing again, I never felt comfortable among all those pixels. Next up is getting some skills in petscii aswell! This gush of creativity was certainly among one of the things I needed, now if I could only complete the list..

Last night, Jens and I was musing over how much we miss the underground artscene of the mid-nineties. This got me inspired and the result of that was that I spent the whee hours of the night drawing Ansi in ACiDDraw once again.. just like 1994. I can’t believe I stopped drawing ansi, if it hadnt been for my ears obstructing the smile my head would’ve come clean off. Who needs high resolution graphics when there is codepage 437!

I added a small gallery to the site with some of my old ansis, go check it out! Within the next couple of days I’ll hack together a proper gallery but this will have to do until then. 80×25.. =)

Yay! The correct url for the site, www.rastplats.se, is finally operative after some DNS related delays. Very nice. As another update, I’ve uploaded the Instinct BBSWare Memorandum site which contain the entire http://www.instinct.nu/ site as it was when it went offline back in 1999. Check it out here and remember the good old days of the underground BBS world. Some other minor updates are made around the site aswell.

Picked up a painting yesterday by Jens from framing. The frame is really really big and massive in brushed metal and my apartement really looks way nicer now. I’ve ordered a new lounge chair aswell, finally getting my act together to do some positive things for myself.. nice.

A combination of good friends, great live-acts, a great partyplace and DJ Joakim Cosmo behind the wheels of steel all participated in making last night a true suceess at Club Data Dancing. The evening became a very pleasant vacation from my own head which lately has been somewhat of a boring place. Creds and Respect to Jucke for arranging this orgie in datavibes and for putting us on the guestlist!

A friend that stayed at my place for a week turned a lot of things around by provocing me to open my eyes to my own situation. I’ve slowly started to take that next crucial step, backed up by a lot of helpful words on how to play the game. Thanks a lot for entering my life Stina, you truly are a superstar! I suck at letting the few people around me know how much their friendship and support mean to me.. I hope you know..

I’m still running blind though, emptied of motivation, direction and joy. Everything I used to feel joy in doing is now surrounded by a feeling of meaninglesness. It became obvious late this spring although I closed my eyes to it like I’ve done so many times in the past. Not dealing with my problems until way too late has become one the few things I really excel in =(. I guess it’s all based in my feeling of being used.. alone.. without love.. and my lack of social skills and self-confidence to improve my situation.. the surrondings are familiar, I’ve been here before.

I need to turn the page and start off on a fresh one.. I just don’t have the slightest idea what I want to write there and it scares the shit out of me..

B as in Blog.. or B as in Boring.. or Both? or as in I don’t Belong..

I’m running blindfolded on a route to which I’ve lost both goal and direction.. too much past to run from and no future to look forward to.